The Dreamweaver

There is a place
Between here and there
Where dreams are true
And nightmares real

The fabric of reality is thin with wear
And the monsters of tomorrow is hiding there

The skies are black
no stars are seen
the angels weep
for the lost souls

The fabric of reality is thin with wear
And the monsters of tomorrow is hiding there

Here the Dreamweaver makes her home
Between the battles of the flowers
and the call of injustice

She wears no color
but in her eyes
I see the future of bright light
She holds the key to all

The fabric of reality is thin with wear
And the monsters of tomorrow is hiding there

Oh Dreamweaver make me a dream
It seems so real
Make her love so strong
Make her love so sweet

Let me close my eyes
and pretend
Let the lies wash away
let the love last

The fabric of reality is thin with wear
And the monsters of tomorrow is hiding there

Let it be a dream of green
of luscious orange and blue
Let the dream have purple colors
And sand between my toes

Have the image stay with me
Through the world of tears
Oh Dreamweaver, I beg of you,
Let me keep my dream.



I just sat and watched a loved one explain, with tears in his eyes because of the pain of the experiences this have brought him, that he wishes he wasn't that intelligent. That he looked on the people of his ages with envy of their easy life. That what he really wanted, was to be like them. All he had to worry about was the next party, and who dated whom. He cursed his intelligence, and the responsibilities it had brought him. He found it unfair, that it is so much harder to attain what would make him happy, than what his classmates have to attain to make them happy.

See, this is something I just don't understand. Through all the shit I've been through, the only constant have been my intelligence. The only thing I can count on is that. Yes, it sucks having the responsibility it brings, and when I was younger, I tried to denounce that responsibility. But now, I am grateful for it, and the possibilities it brings. I can do great things. I can actually accomplish things, stuff that other people will never even comprehend.

I am not saying that my intelligence is far superior to all other beings, just that I have potential to actually make a difference. And that is something I will do. I want to make a difference, and having the resources given to me like that is so much more than I could wish for. With intelligence, one can accomplish anything!



Why is it that everything I do, turn into something geeks? I understand the geekiness in RPG's and computer, but I manage to turn something relatively simple and sober into full-blown geekiness. Why? Can't I just be normal and non-geeky for once? Why is it, that every time something catches my attention I always end up knowing obscure things about that particular thing? Like movies. I realized that I know stupid things, about actors that I don't even especially like. How do I know stuff like that? Why do I remember that, when I can't even remember the date of my sisters birthday? Is it because I am so used to having geek-friends that I know they love obscure facts about obscure things? Or is the geekiness perhaps a genetically defect? Or maybe the next step in evolution? Hmm. One thing is for sure: Non-geeks perceive me as almost to geek to function.

And from the LPoTD archives:

Why do geeks love geeks girls, as soon as they have just relatively good looks? If, as a geek, you compliment a girl: "You're like totally cha 18, and I mean that with all of my heart, even if I had been Lord Soth and completely chaotic evil", it's nice that she understands..

Haunting dreams

It's been awhile. How are you guys?

On dreams:
Well. I am having these haunting dreams, and the problem is, I can't remember them when I awake. Makes it a bit difficult to find out, where the problem lies, doesn't it? I have a notion, though. I started meditating the other day, and the weird dreams started there. I must have some issues, that I have to get sorted. That is a high priority tonight.

On old thought-patterns:
Also. Am I really comfortable with that whole new way of looking at life? I like it, ofcourse, but am I really comfortable or is the prospect of actually living life scaring the shit out of me? Enough so, that I am starting to think in the old pattern of husband, kids and a career? Or am I just starting to find yet another truth in life?

On caring about each other:

My thoughts go out to my beloved these days. He is really going through hell. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes, I can tell you that much! But what can I do, really? Not much, all I try to do is be there for him. It's his life, and as much as I'd like to, I can't live it. He tells me not to worry, but I can see how deeply troubled he is, how can I not worry, when I care so much about him?

On religion:
I am pursuing my religion again. Spend Samhain being to exhausted to do much, and looking forward to Yule. I don't celebrate Christmas, but my entire family is gathered this year, so you'll find me there too. It's funny, how most of the people I talk to love the holidays, and yet they are not Christian. It's like they conveniently forget that the reason they give gifts is because of Jesus. I don't like that trait in people. At least make a stand! As Bill Hicks said: "But you gotta admit that beliefs are odd! A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks.. You think if Jesus ever comes back, he wants to see a f****** cross again?"