7.12.2004

Lack of sleep

So I didn't get more than a couple of hours of sleep last night. That might be ok for some, but for me it definitely isn't. My body experiences some very specific changes, that I'd rather be without. For instance my stomach is completely broken down, and my head is spinning. My eyes are hurting and my lips are dry. Not to mention all the things that probably is there, but I just don't notice. Like memory-blocks, speaking disorder and the likes.

I suffered from insomnia once, but if you've never tried it, you would never understand it, in a very fundamental way. It's not just a couple of days, in which you might be a bit tired. It's everyday, and the world seems to be the worse place to live. I think this might have something to do with the fact, that our mind work through the day's experiences, and sort them out, while we sleep. So after a couple of days, you're pretty messed up in you head. After a couple of more days, you need mental rest so badly, that you would do almost anything to get it. After a week more, you're going mental. And the worse thing is, that most people start being insomnic after a traumatic experience, and that's when you need your mental rest most. After a week or so, I eventually started to hallucinate. Looking back on it today it seems almost silly, but I can assure you it wasn't. It was very unpleasant.

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